Guest Post: "The most epic of fails...aka story time at our local library."

Good morning, and happy Friday! What better way to start our weekend then by reading this very funny guest post by Amanda from the the blog Twice the Love, Half the Sleep.  She has super cute boy/girl twins Aaron and Jill, and shared this hilarious story for today's blog.
Forgotten why we're doing guest posts? Remind yourself here.
And don't forget to leave Amanda lots of comments! (Like maybe about how her son and daughter are perfect miniatures of her and her husband! How funny! How CUTE!)

*   *   *

Our local library does a preschool story time and I finally had the guts to try and go, solo none-the-less. I figured I had to try, or at the very least die trying. 11 o'clock is a pretty hairy time over here, most especially when both kids are up at 6 am and you have a feeling they were up long before that. We usually eat lunch around that time and are getting settled down to take naps, but I figured that if I gave them a granola bar on the way over we would be ok. Hilarious, no?

I was pretty confident when we got there thinking it was going to be awesome. We returned the books we checked out (Aaron helped push them in the return bin, such a helper) and since we were early we went to check out some new books. This is where things started to get hairy and I should have ran. They didn't want to leave the little playhouse, but somehow I convinced them story time was much more fun. We checked out our books, I spotted our friends Lani and Ben and headed into the room.

Mistake number one was I sat near the reader and not the exit (like I originally planned, I got cocky, what can I say?). Mistake number two is that we sat near the toys that are in the room and the fan (the fan clearly has that look of 'please stick your fingers in me'). Mistake number three is that I stayed longer than I should have. Jill was not about to sit there and listen to this story. She wanted to see what all was going on in the areas of the room that had nothing to do with story time. Aaron did pretty decent, he usually does. Then it got worse, Jill full on started a tantrum. I was instantly "that mom" with "that child". I gathered our things to leave and what does my angel Jill do? Insist that I sit down because she certainly is not leaving. Ooooooooh my God that door seemed like it was a mile away. I had to have that quick debate, do I drag her out screaming or try and juggle carrying her with our bag o'books and have Aaron walk with me? I chose the latter, I mean really I could have picked the first, I was already "that mom", I could have also poured a pixie stick in her mouth and really iced that cake (ps I don't like pixie sticks so that's not an option, just funny for the sake of funny). Jill pretty much screamed until we got to the car, and then refused to get in the car. Aaron had the look of "I'm not even going to breath or look in your general direction". He's such a good boy.

After we got home and I got them settled in for lunch I called my mom and pretty much cried for 30 minutes on how I am clearly a crappy parent if my child cannot sit through a simple story time. My mom actually laughed at me, and a few hours later I had to laugh as well. Seriously, why were my expectations so high for a curious 2 year old? What made me think she was going to sit and listen to someone read a story? She barely sits and listens to me read a story, let alone a total stranger in a brand new room with all sorts of other things to look at. Plus they had puppets, if it wasn't for the tantrum I would have had a hard time paying attention.

We're going to try again for sure. I can't get discouraged and can't beat myself up over it. But like I told my mom it's somewhat hard because us moms are so competitive with each other. We have to rub in what our little prodigies (for that's what they are, no?) do that so and so's kids can't do. Sometimes I half expect people to tell me their 2 year olds are fluent in Japanese and have already started long division. I don't know why we are like this, is it some sick way of validating that we are in fact a good parent?

Well, my kids definitely do not speak fluent Japanese, nor do they do long division, but they know their colors (even though if you ask Aaron, most colors are blue), can say some of their ABC's and can tell you if their "butt stinks". Clearly I'm doing something right, right?

Twincerely,
Amanda

.