paranoid

I would not describe myself as a hypochondriac.
But the rest of my family probably would.

During the first year of our marriage I probably bought a half dozen home pregnancy tests, because I was sore, or nauseous, or achey and figured something was wrong.
Maybe I was pregnant.

As it is, even with very frequent appointments and NSTs and ultrasounds, I call my doctor or his nurses with questions and worries in the middle of the night on a pretty regular basis.
I just like making sure that weird, uncomfortable feeling I'm having is normal.
It pretty much always is. Pregnancy is kind of weird and uncomfortable.

On Saturday a friend pointed out that a twin pregnancy is absolutely perfect for me, because I always know exactly what's going on, but with a regular pregnancy that's rarely the case.
And I realized that she's right. Being pregnant with twins is the best thing ever, and here's why:

Most women get one, maybe two ultrasounds during their entire pregnancy.
Next week will be my ninth ultrasound.
I don't have to worry if they are the right size, growing well, positioned for birth, or if possibly the technician told us the wrong gender.
I know everything is perfect.

I also go to the doctor weekly and he checks my blood pressure, the protein in my urine, the size of my stomach, my weight gain, my contractions, dilation, my boys heartbeats, and occasionally he even checks their amniotic fluid levels for good measure.
I'm pretty sure they're a bit more cavalier about regular pregnancies.

But the best thing about being pregnant with twins, I think, is that I can always feel my babies moving.
At the beginning of my pregnancy I was plagued with fears of miscarriage and I would reassure myself by saying "You feel nauseous. You don't want to eat your favorite foods. You want pizza," (before I was pregnant I HATED pizza. Now I love it.) but that little pep-talk would help me.
I still felt pregnant, so I was probably still pregnant.
Now I will feel sore, or cramps, or very regular-seeming  contractions and worry about my babies. Are they okay? Are they both still alive and doing well? Am I going into preterm labor?
And all I have to do is hold still and pay attention and I know they're fine.
Baby A probably has the hiccups and Baby B is turning somersaults and I think "If they can have the hiccups and keep moving, then they're not in distress. They're okay."
And if they're okay, then I'm okay.
And I don't need to call my doctor, because I'll see him within 24 hours.

And speaking of, I'm off to see the doctor.
And listen to my boys wiggling.
And see nurses become very frustrated with my boys' wiggling.

It will be a good day, I'm sure.


.