Conversations with Two-Year Olds

There are lots of little things that don't get recorded in these. Like how Micah has been calling Grey "buddy" all the time.
Hey Buddy. Don't worry, Buddy. Whatcha doing, Buddy?
Or how they constantly talk about who is Eva and who is Wall-E (from the movie Wall-E). It's their favorite movie and they are constantly saying,
"I am Eva, you are Wall-E."
"I am not Wall-E, Mom is Wall-E. We are both Eva."

You may notice that there are lots of conversations about being "nice" and who they are allowed to be violent towards.
They love to wrestle, punch, fight, sword fight, and shoot pretend guns. But we've been trying really hard to teach them - you can only wrestle with people who want to wrestle, you can't shoot people, no punching babies- even if they accidentally punch you, etc.
So the boys are constantly asking and testing with violence.
And they often do something (like punch or yell), and then immediately say "I am nice," like they want me to know - they're at least trying. It's such a weird/hard/unexpected thing to have to teach them!

Anyway. Here are some conversations with my two-year olds.

Grey: Only shoot monsters.
Micah: Can I shoot monkeys in the trees?
Grey: If they be naughty.

Micah: Look at this picture! Daddy is tiny like me. But, I am not tiny. I am big.

Me: Don't pinch me.
Micah: Can I pinch monsters?
Me: I guess so.
Micah: Can I pinch mine self?

Micah: Oh no, Mom. My legs aren't asleep. My legs are awake and need to kick!

Me: Can you tell me a story about Jesus?
Grey: Yes. Jesus be kind.

Me: It's time to leave the park and go home for lunch.
Grey: **Sigh** Are we being punished?

**Grey plugs Travis' mouth and nose**
Grey: Okay, Dad. Now try to breath.

Mary: Did you wake up to a surprise today?
Grey: Yes! A Daddy Surprise!

Micah: I'm twelve.
Me: You're not twelve.
Micah: I AM twelve! I AM!
Grey: I am nine.
Me: You are TWO.
Micah: I am poop.
Me: You're not poop.
Micah: I'm just a little pee, then?

Me: Grey, will you sing me a song, please?
Grey: I'm too tired for singing.

Micah: What you watching, Papa Mike?
Grandpa: A car show.
Micah: Let's watch a soccer ball show.

**Playing steam roller**
Travis: I'm gonna get ya! I'm gonna roll your bones!
Micah: Oh no! Not my bones!

Travis: What do I say when we play?
Micah: I'm going to get your face!
Travis: Really? What else?
Micah: And my feet!
Travis: Your face and your feet?
Micah: MY EVERYWHERE!

Micah: Mom, you stole that city. You need a go to time out!

Me: Wow, are you okay?
Grey: I'm not okay. But I'm not dead, I just coughing.

Micah: I'm being nice.
Me: Thank you.
Micah: But I am a Mommy dinosaur, and Grey is my baby dinosaur.
Grey: Eee! I a baby dinosaur? **Sigh** I guess I am.

Grey: It's too bright! I need glasses.
Me: Sorry, I didn't bring your sunglasses.
Grey: Okay. I'll use my hand-glasses.

Micah: I won't punch Mommies or babies, but I can punch my Daddy.

Grey: Micah is a puppy.
Micah: Woof Woof!
Grey: Micah's name is Snoopy.
Micah: NO! I'm not Snoopy.
Grey: Micah is named Snoopy, and he is my best puppy.
Micah: Don't say that! I am a puppy named Micah!

Me: Help me make your bed.
Micah: I can't. My hands aren't big enough.

Grey: I'm not kicking you. I'm just touching you with my feet. And now I do it again.

**Grey motions to an empty corner of the room.**
Grey: This is my special friend, Ghost-Elanor.
Me: Oh hello, Ghost-Elanor
Grey: Don't talk to her. She's my best friend, and only I can talk to her.
Ghost-Elanor, do you want to play a game with me?

Micah: You have blue eyes.
Grey: I do have blue eyes.
Micah: Daddy have blue eyes.
Grey: And Mommy have brown eyes.
Micah: Mom doesn't have a penis.
Grey: Yes. But Daddy have a penis, and I have a penis.
Micah: I have a penis, too.
(I overheard this from another room. I wonder if they think these things are related? Boys have penises and blue eyes?)

Micah: Red light, STOP!
Me: I never played this game with you. Where did you play it?
Micah: Outside.
Me: Who did you play it with?
Micah: With you, Mom.
Me: No, where did you learn it? Did you play it in your class at church?
Micah: You teach it to me.
Me: I didn't! Did Grandma play it with you?
Micah: You did. Outside. You teach me!

Micah: I wanna play a game of choking you.
Me: No, thank you.
Micah: Yes thank you, please.

Micah: Hello, little Puppy Grey. Come here, I am nice. Come lick my hand, little puppy.