Conversations with Three-Year Olds

Today is my sister Mary's birthday. She is some age.
I'm not sure, because I am a good sister. I believe that she is 23.
Happy Birthday, Aunt Moony. Everybody here misses your face, even when it looks at us angrily.

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Grey: Dad! I do not care about Micah.
Travis: Grey, we are a family. We always care about each other and we love each other. It's okay to be mad at Micah, but we always care about each other.
Grey: Well, I don't care about that stuff either.
Travis: Maybe you just need some quiet, personal time. Let's all leave Grey alone.
Micah: But, Dad! I'm back here with him!
Grey: Just ignore me!
Micah: I don't want to! I love you!

Micah: I won't use my gun in the car or in the house. I won't use it in any sides.

Micah: I don't have to listen to you. You're not my real mother! You're only pretend!

Micah (sitting in a pile of pillows): Ah. Here I am in my beautiful cave.

Me (describing Lehi's dream): He wanted to eat some of the fruit-
Grey: So he would turn into a bear?
Me: No. You know, there aren't a lot of human to animal transformations in our religion.
Grey: Yeah. I want to turn into a bear someday.

Grey (to August): Expelliarmus, August. That is a spell. It means, drop your toys, little boy.

Grey: Ug! It smells like baby August in here.

Micah: Look! There are some missionaries.
Me: I don't think those are missionaries. They're not dressed like missionaries.
Micah: They're in people costumes.

**Driving by a billboard for a Haunted House, which features two evil looking clowns.**
Micah: Mom! I saw two jokers!
Me: Oh, yeah. I saw them too. But they're not real.
Micah: I think they are. I think they killed a man.
Grey: THEY KILLED A MAN?!
Me: No! They're only pretend.
Micah: Then they killed a pretend man!

Me: You guys cannot run out Into the street!
Grey: It's okay. I'm brave.
Me: It doesn't matter. Running into the street isn't brave, it's foolish. You will get hit by a car and die.
Micah: It's OKAY, Mom. I can stop cars. With my mind.

Grey: I can read thoughts like Wonder Woman.
Me: Oh really? Read my thoughts now. What am I thinking?
Grey: Um. Pizza?
Me: How did you know?!
Grey: Your brain.

Grey: Mom, I see something out my window! I see them! Them are all houses!

Grey: Oww! Owie! Owie, Owwwww!
Me: Hey, what's wrong?
Grey: The Holy Ghost is punching me!

Micah: I love you now.
Me: Oh, thank you. I love you too.
Micah: Not you. I'm talking to the Micah boy in the mirror.
Me: Oh boy.
Micah: Bye, my friend.
Me: Bye.
Micah: Not you.

Micah: You be a person and I'll be a guy.
Travis: Alright.
Micah: Fine. You're not being a person. You be the guy and I'll be the person!

**Watching movie credits**
Micah: An M and an O!
Grey: I see a T and a G! Suh-suh! S!
Micah: Fuh-Fuh! Z!

Grey: What is that?
Katie: This is something girls wear.
Grey: It's a bra. But I thought you didn't have any breasts.

Grey: Look at this picture! It's us as babies! But now we are grown ups and baby August is a baby!

Micah: I am really into superheroes.

Grey: Truly, Daddy. I am starving!

Micah: Here are some dead guys. Dead BAD guys. Batman made them dead for you, so you can eat them.
Me: Wait. What? Who eats dead bad guys? I thought Grey was a puppy. Puppy don't eat dead people.
Micah: I know. Becky eats bad, dead people that Batman brings her.

Micah: Oh! Are we going into Ikea, my darling?

Grey: No, Treebeard! Let us go! We are HOBBITS!

Siri: I'm sorry, Travis. I didn't catch that.
Grey: I am NOT Travis! Don't ever say that again!
Siri: I don't know what you're saying.
Grey: YOU. DONT. KNOW?!
Siri: I'm sorry, Travis. I didn't catch that.
Grey: ARGH! I am not Travis!

Micah: Hey, you baby. Stop smiling at me, August!