Conversations with Three-Year Olds

Grey: We are going to be gone so long, Micah, August, and Daddy will say, "What's taking so long?!"
(In a deep voice) What's taking so long?!
(In a high voice) What's taking so long?!
(In a baby voice) Gah! What take soooo gah-wong gah!

Micah: This line in the couch is a Crack-o-dile. I'll jump over it!

Grey: Chocolate is my special jam.

Micah: Cratch and Guacalina's costumes are bone pirates.

Micah: I think this song can sing by itself. So stop singing.

Stranger: Are you boys related or just friends?
Micah: We are just BEST friends!

Travis: I'm pretty to look at and nice to smell, if you have a garden you know me well. What am I?
Grey: Dirt!
Travis: Not dirt. What is pretty and smells good and grows in a garden?
Grey: Carrots!

Micah: Police officers would never put me in jail, because I am so good to them! They do put bears in jail, though.

Grey: I like your pretty shoes!
Me: Thank you!
Grey: Well?
Me: What?
Grey: Don't you like MY shoes?

Micah: I want to sleep with you, Daddy!
Me: No, I sleep with Dad. There's no room in there for you.
Micah: Sure. Daddy just has to scoot way over and then there IS room for me!

Me: If you get slurpees you'll need to share with me, because I LOVE slurpees.
Grey: Or how about, you get your own Slurpee.
Me: No. I want to share with you.
Grey: The only person I'm sharing with is nobody.

Micah: Look at that volcano!
Me: That's a regular mountain, actually.
Micah: But it's covered in hot lava!
Me: I think those are just trees with orange leaves.
Micah: Because the leaves are ON FIRE?!

Micah: We are both Batmans!
Grey: Ha! Now we look like twins!

Grey: Mom, if I punched you in the face now, what would you do? Would you kill me?

Micah: I am Samwise the Hobbit, and I kill ALLLLL them orcs!

Grey: Repeat after me. Wonder.
Me: Wonder.
Grey: Woman.
Me: Woman.
Grey: Wonder Woman.
Me: Wonder Woman.
Grey: Good. Now you can say it, and you know Wonder Woman's name, because I always call you Wonder Woman.

Elanor: A bow and arrow is cool! I want one for Christmas, because Merida shoots a bow and arrow.
Micah: So does Legolas, Elanor! Him is from Lord of the Rings and he is the highest jumper.

Grey: I just want to eat all my candy, because I love candy and because it is so good for my body.

*August cries so rarely and looks so pathetic and horrible when he does, that I have developed the distasteful quality of finding it entertaining.

** The boys know all about LOTR (to my delight) because they play the Lego video game with their dad. Their current favorites are Treebeard and Samwise, because they have extraordinarily good taste for children.